Pet Peeves, Sick and tired, and I know huh

Every now and then there are these little “triflin” things I must vent about.

It's healthy but like a sneeze, you don’t hold it in.

I'm not alone. I know for a fact Vancouver some of you are “hearin” me, “feelin” me, and half way thru most of you will be saying, “AMEN tell it like it is Daved”. Or maybe like George Lopez some of you will say "I know huh" So we'll do a tradeoff: You can read mine today, then send me yours and

later I'll pull a Letterman where I'll list some of the top 10

peeves we have.

I don't like women who use small dogs as fashion accessories! Paris Hilton you really did leave your mark on the world. If the dog has no hair, keep him inside with the cat! Little coats and shoes for animals is moronic unless, of course, you're a grandma. Grandma can do whatever she wants by virtue of time served.

While I'm on dogs, when did it become all right to allow your dog to

relieve itself in changing rooms in expensive Pacific Centre stores and not

clean up after them? If you dropped a jewel off an expensive bracelet, you'd

pick it up, right? So clean up after your barking rat. Most women that carry small dogs are themselves accessories for certain guys anyway.

Do parents still tell kids that it's bad manners to stare? I agree particularly

when you're staring at people for things they cannot help. But what if the

guy or girl has a tattooed face, magic-marker-coloured hair, or piercings

all over? I say it's OK. It's a free ticket to the freak show. You brought that on yourself. I just wonder what lost tribe are you hoping to find anyway?

What's with the pedestrians? They walk out into the street oblivious to traffic

while talking on a cell phone while intently listening to their iPod

assuming that we motorists are reading their minds and can stop on a dime.

The least you can do, pedestrians, is give drivers some sort of definite

indication you are about to cross the street. And while I am on that topic:

Jaywalkers, keep the scowls to yourself when crossing illegally and getting

honked at.

Bike lanes, I love them just not the way we do them in Vancouver.

Why an entire lane? Why the concrete barricade? Why not use seldom traveled roads and paint a nice lane for the cyclists to use? I don't get it. I like cyclists especially the ones that get and follow the old rules of the road, as taught to me by my mom. Mom said, "stay close to the curb, look ahead, get your tail out of the street because you cannot accelerate like a car, nor do you have the protection of a car. So be defensive."

Isn’t it hard to keep a straight face when extremely large fake breasts with the tiny t-shirt enter a restaurant. I’ll ask, “so how’s your self esteem really?”

Picking up hookers is a column in itself. But picking them up on a weekday, during the daytime, in a late model minivan with a baby seat on Cordova takes the cake.

There are a lot of older dudes who have been dating younger. I guess they feel they can get away with more, experience something new, mold a young mind, and in turn ruin young lives by setting them back out into the wilds as bitter dangerous young women roaming the young dating scene with bitter old man baggage. Is my date too young? If you have to tell her the movie is an eighties remake, she is too damn young. Or just dumb.

If you are driving a dump truck filled with tons of earth you shouldn’t be yakking on the phone while you're driving through downtown.

When walking around crowded stores, give the lady the right of way. If she

scowls at you, then step on her foot and say "sorry."

Avoid the big-hipped lady, especially in the baking aisle. She demands the

right of way. I love hips, but large hips with an excess of junk in the

trunk can make for horrific collisions.

I don't like people who don't understand doorway etiquette. The person leaving the building has the right of way, the person entering should step aside. Especially while you are moving furniture. (Mister courier, you know

who you are.)

Finally, I have a problem with girls who hold hands at nightclubs. If you are old enough to be in a licensed establishment, why do you have to hold hands to move? You're posing in your older sister's come and get, grown-up clothes, yet you hold hands like Brownies in a national park.

I wonder about these girls. Does one do the thinking,and the other hold the money? Do you really have to worry about getting lost in a bar in Yaletown, or any other bar in any big city?

I’m not scared Vancouver to tell it like it is, call it like I see it.